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Hi! [19 Sep 2009|12:22am]

On #14 now of my poem notebooks
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Pink Face [03 Jun 2009|08:15pm]
There is this girl I know.
She never does show.
Thinks too much
Even about the color pink
I wish we could touch
But somehow we never met
Long enough to greet.
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"In Sin" [27 May 2007|02:24pm]

i can do that she said
as she gripped her arm
i can walk away
as she pretended she wasn't dead

i can smile
if means no more pain
visions of the ending nights
and the overflowing anger
that brought w/ it the shame

i can be the pretty
painted up to grin
happy faces
stabbing at my spine
i can live in your belief of sin

2 comments|post comment

Nameless To Say [14 Feb 2006|12:45pm]
I look for where u can be

Are u out there somewhere where I cant see

Are u the desire

That runs in my veins

A cherished fire

To put to rest

My heart that in return

Can only simply burn

Are u the one

Who'll save me

The one I search to see
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Blood On My Bed [14 Feb 2006|12:42pm]
(This poem was about my abusive ex)

Do u deserve my eyes
Shining upon ur body
U, the one who makes me cry
Where is the proof that u love me
I see ur shadow
From within the light
I beg god to know
For me are u right
As though the blood hasnt fallen so many times before
I have closed my swollen red eyes
Shut that door
And hoped that u would just die
When will ur face fade
Will it go from view
Blacken shade
I want to kill u

Nothing is true
When I lay in bed
And imagine a world with u
All that can come from it in the end
Is a broken heart to a broken soul
A mistake I wont make again
Maybe I'm much too beautiful
To repeat it all

Maybe love was something so fake
Something next time
That I shall not mistake
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:All & All: [26 May 2005|03:33pm]
I tried to smile

Never lasted too long

The fake made up all the while

That I was trying to move on

I was simple

Knew it all

Blamed it all on you

Never too strong

Always too weak to admit

I couldn't move on

My heart tells me I am in sorrow

Trying hard to move past

To another tomorrow

One day I shall rise to see

I was strong without you
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"Between Broken Eyes" [08 May 2005|10:26am]
Help me
I'm tired of my eyes weighing me down
Too much sorrow for one girl to take
Remind me to break

So many times I can recall
Scratching at the surface of my skin
If ever I was too leave
I would like to never wake
Remind me to break

Trying hard for something real
Coming out each time empty handed
No surprise there
Every fucking whore is just another picture fake
I break.........
2 comments|post comment

:Once Upon my Midnight Dreams: [10 Jul 2004|03:08pm]
They told me I would be beautiful
If in the end
I would be met by a stranger
Long hands that would grip my heart too tight
Eyes so hollow I may never see in
This stranger would hold me in his arms
Telling me that in the morning everything would be alright
Once I allowed the wrists to bleed
My eyes would once open to see
That this was no fairytale.....
And no happy ending for me...
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April May a story by me and unfinished [06 Jun 2004|07:55pm]
April rose from the couch. All night the couch had been digging in her back and now she finally got the will to move. As she stood, looking over the living room and trying to find her favorite pair of jeans, she noticed something crawling up her wall. She pushed past the cramped, messy room to see a cockroach. "Just great,! she mumbled to herself, "This is just what I need!" Climbing over a stack of books she grabbed her shoe and pressed it hard against the thin paper walls, that were painted that horrible off white color. Removing the shoe now she saw the remains of the very dead bug. April laughed to herself. She remembered being so in love with the idea of living that killing anything on this earth would make her scared of the thing coming back to see revenge. Oh, how silly she had been years ago. Years ago? Had it really been so much time that she could now remember lost memories and count them in decades. Time flies and it was something she should have remembered.
Read more...Collapse )
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[06 Jun 2004|07:39pm]
Once upon a time in a far off kingdom there lived a princess.......

She wasnt pretty...

she wasnt smart

She was so scared

She missed her friends

She always would hide her eyes when talking to someone

She was much too scared to love again and would most likely never again

this princess sadly is me....

Add some salt
Add some pepper and thats what you get when you have me...

I am a story waiting to be told...

open the book
put the kid to bed
I will lay down next to you and dream


I am the princess, I am the kid, I am the adult, I am the sadness building up inside of your chest and caving it in, ready to burst....I am all of this and maybe a bit more....

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[27 Mar 2004|05:28am]
[ mood | loved ]

I had a Buckel once

He spoke my name in words of bliss

This Buckel said in times of need

It was I, it was my kiss

That made the cuts no longer bleed

Simply to this

I could only say

Mr.Buckel u're love and attention are what I love

Promise me with open arms and an open soul

That I was always be the one u think of

He took my body

And limp it did fall

I fell right into his arms

And right there was the beginning of it all

I love u Buckel
I whisper<3
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"Could I Express?" [18 Feb 2004|12:02pm]
[ mood | loved ]

In these days
Of crying tears
Lost emotions
That came from deep fears

Could I sit before u
Legs crossed
Like a lady
Could I express
Put u on the higher level
And remind u
That I never thought u were like the rest

I would look at u
When u werent looking
U would never see
From across a room
I would just know
That u were the one meant for me
Dreaming is believing
Believing is knowing
That all that has happened
U are the embrace I cry to remember
I cry...
I cry
I long to be
That girl u wrap ur arms around
As we sit and listen to music
U will tell me u love me in a whisper
I will blush as I say it back
This is how I know now
That I Could express
The great need I have for u
To set u apart from the rest

Maybe not enough
I dont say enough
But I love u.......

1 comment|post comment

"Afriad" [18 Feb 2004|11:58am]
[ mood | geeky ]

I was afriad that I would shatter
So unperfect
So unclean
I thought u would see through me
With those eyes
That could always know what I was dead in lies
I was afriad
That u would see me
For who I was
So deep inside
U would see my face
Those marks that crossed out my heart
I was afriad
That u could tell
That in this depressing emotional drama filled world
All I was doing was praying to exit to hell....

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"Mirrors" [16 Feb 2004|10:20am]
[ mood | moody ]

I'm looking in this mirror
Might as well tell u
That u are my only fear
I will take this glass
Embrace this moment of sadness
There is no rest
I thought my days would shine
Embracing me with thoughts
That would bring with them
A feeling of beauty and being loved
If only I hadnt been so wrong
Maybe then I would/could have smiled
Thru the broken glass over my wrists
All I know now is tight fists
I hate u
I hate u
I hate u...

2 comments|post comment

"Living just fine" [16 Feb 2004|10:15am]
[ mood | sad ]

I was living just fine

Before u took those arms around my soul

Digging deep into my mind

Proclaiming me as beautiful

I was living just fine

Before I found out what u were about

Now I am closing my eyes

And wishing u would just get the fuck out

I thought this time could be a different time

Cuz I was living just fine....

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"Not Sure" [27 Aug 2003|01:20pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

I close these bleeding eyes

Are u the one who is to take me as my world

Would slowly decay and die from around me.

Would u care

Should I dare

Say i love u

For another night

Another day

This time I promise I will stay

I love u for all that it is worth

2 comments|post comment

[26 Aug 2003|12:42pm]
i love u
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"Take That Glass And Break It Over My Face" [12 May 2003|04:13am]
I'm blind

I'm scared of myself

I asked for too much for u to see

Just the wrong moment of time

And u will never love me

Like I want u to

Doesnt matter that I love u

Couldnt change the way things fell down

How far they had broken below

I dont want to open these eyes

Only to realize

That I am nothing more then a image of what I will never know

I'm to afraid of who I am

Hold my hand

Show me love?

Accept for just this time

Allow this to be the moment of

When I am something more to u then just a visit to ur mind

Maybe I should cut these tired and weak wrists

Holding pieces of glass

I hold myself back

I resist

Is all I ever am

Someone u choose to never understand

Was a girl too much for u to care about

I just want to bleed here in ur image

In ur form

I bleed this pain

To show u that even as death showers me with attention

It will be only ur name

The exits my lips

As I lay here forever dying of a lost game...
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"Rape Was Too Long" [23 Apr 2003|08:49am]
U let me rape ur body

Make it ripe

Open those scars and tears

That made u hate me

Make believe

U love me once more

So we can do it over again

Better then before

I use to rape u

For all it was worth

I would steal ur mind

To wash my soul clean

We'd run out of time

And it would be I

Who would be the one

U would leave to cry

The rape was too long
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"I saw U Again" [05 Apr 2003|12:20pm]
There use to be

This need from within

That would draw me

To want to fit under ur skin

I use to desire

All I couldn't have

Love would burn me with fire

I then

Was a slave to myself

For the way I would feel

I wish

For someone else

Someone new

I close my eyes

Open them

And imagine a world

Where there is no u
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